Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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