K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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