girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
