I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
