Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
