i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
