So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
