I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There's always time for handjobs
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize