Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
