ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
false alarm, still single
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