I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
