His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
