Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
