You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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