Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
