remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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