Where are you?
In a non slutty way
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
