so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
