you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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