i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
