Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
