Fuck appropriateness.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
this will be a night to untag.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Houston, we have a blender
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
