is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
