dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
