are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
