i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
