mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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