Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
