What a fucking waste of an outfit
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
