lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
