Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
