Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
