omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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