Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
