but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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