Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My feet surprised me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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