Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
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