I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
