After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
