Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
