WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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