So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
