You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
