Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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