these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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