so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
