Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
