apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
50% drunk capacity currently
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
