You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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