my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
