I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize