wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
