508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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