I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Everclear isn't food dammit
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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