Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
